It's bad out there.

[Clubfoot1]

Hell, my stuff is tame compared to others. Imagine all the stories that our beloved vets could write if they wanted. Or people living in New York have mad stories too. Our great nation is a baby compared to other nations. They have stories and adventures waiting for you. All you gotta do is travel. After surviving being run over and dragged by a tour bus in London. Everything changed in my life. All my stories are true, meant to be enjoyed as pure entertainment.
Please enjoy

Not true Toby as a North American nation the natives have been here for thousands of years. Plus Santa lives in our North pole I think he's been around as the world's authority in all matters so basically Canada controls the world get used to it........see what happens when dementia kicks in

 

[t0astybagel]

LOL Dear sir, life is long and brutally fun. Some stuff you may experience well, if you share, people will throw rocks at you. So when you're young you stay quiet. But a certain age lol who cares. I don't drink, but I do get happily high on weed. Yet there's no weed that can make stuff up lololol. Now let's say I posted photos of stuff I have spoken. Lol many would say aww toby that shit is fake LOLOLOL. Example: when in Venice, Italy the pickpockets, there are mostly women.

A great routine they have that I became a victim too. Is a woman, a mum holds one or two babies. She pretends to be fumbling the babies as she picks up her purse that fell and spilled it contents. Always a few tampons mixed in for realism, but it's more than that. As you offer to pick up the contents on the floor, you see the tampons and pause. She says, "Here hold my babies, and she picks up spilled contents." She thanks you a lot, while all the time, jabbering in her tongue. Then she reaches for her babies you are holding and takes everything you have in your pockets hahahahaha. How to counter that? I learned how.

Before you leave buy some cigarettes, empty out half of them, and put in like 20 euros in bills in half filled cigarettes package. People always get picked right in front of St Marks. You are distracted. Make sure when you pay for little things, you take out the cigarettes and pull the money out of cigarettes. In about 30 mins a woman will bump into you as you return to the hotel, and she hits your cigarettes. They are gone by the time you get in to the hotel or restaurant.

There are a ton of tourist scams I could write about hahah. Until you go through one, well it's all just stories. That's life!!
Like the air force pilots that have recorded UFO's; are they drunk or high too? LOL. All up to the person's boundaries of realities.

Yeah, I was just curious if it was real or not. Boy, do I have stories...

We could talk about the time I jumped out of a plane and my main parachute failed, the time I almost fell out of a Blackhawk while fast-roping into an objective in Iraq, working during the Boston Marathon Bombings as a police officer, or the time a homeless guy threw his glass eye at me when I was trying to offer him a ride to the homeless shelter (also while working as a cop).

Endless, endless stories...

 

[bebops-ghost]

Can someone write a 3-5 sentence cliff's notes version.

If you're too young to know what cliff's notes are, just google it like you do for everything else

He should have never gone to McD for coffee. Its awful shit.

 

[Clubfoot1]

Yeah, I was just curious if it was real or not. Boy, do I have stories...

We could talk about the time I jumped out of a plane and my main parachute failed, the time I almost fell out of a Blackhawk while fast-roping into an objective in Iraq, working during the Boston Marathon Bombings as a police officer, or the time a homeless guy threw his glass eye at me when I was trying to offer him a ride to the homeless shelter (also while working as a cop).

Endless, endless stories...

Ok well We need to hear these stories because I have a few as well to relay ......Like having my home office invaded by paperwork! I'm just being special pay no mind to my antics

 

[tobyloveswar]

Not true Toby as a North American nation the natives have been here for thousands of years. Plus Santa lives in our North pole I think he's been around as the world's authority in all matters so basically Canada controls the world get used to it........see what happens when dementia kicks in

Canada controls the world...Hmm Biden ain't gonna be happy when I tell him that tonight at the Bingo Hall! It's 2 cards for one tonight!!! whoopee

 

[tobyloveswar]

Yeah, I was just curious if it was real or not. Boy, do I have stories...

We could talk about the time I jumped out of a plane and my main parachute failed, the time I almost fell out of a Blackhawk while fast-roping into an objective in Iraq, working during the Boston Marathon Bombings as a police officer, or the time a homeless guy threw his glass eye at me when I was trying to offer him a ride to the homeless shelter (also while working as a cop).

Endless, endless stories...

Omg Bagle, please share your life, it would rock. No one ever reports the sacrifice and selfless acts our armed forces do daily. Its like they don't exist unless its a bad story. We would be talking German and Japanese if not for our Armed Forces. Yet some chicks dancing on tic tok are more important than our men and women protecting our nation?

 

[tobyloveswar]

Yeah, I was just curious if it was real or not. Boy, do I have stories...

We could talk about the time I jumped out of a plane and my main parachute failed, the time I almost fell out of a Blackhawk while fast-roping into an objective in Iraq, working during the Boston Marathon Bombings as a police officer, or the time a homeless guy threw his glass eye at me when I was trying to offer him a ride to the homeless shelter (also while working as a cop).

Endless, endless stories...

Bagel right after my divorce, I am at some hotel, don't even remember which one. I meet a soldier who was discharged? He tells me a very important fact. When he gets rotated out of Germany. I ask, I am in my 40's, do you think the army will take me? He says, "Do you think you can carry me for on your back for a couple miles?" I was like omg no way man. There's your answer toby. Then I tell him I haven't slept with any other women in 20 years, just my wife soon to be ex. He goes on, he spent some time in Thailand before heading into the states. He said you gotta look at their necks, the woman that approached you. If they have a scar on the throat. Means they were men and had Adams apple removed. I was like OMG!!! He was my first soldier I have ever met. Have partied with some units from the French foreign legion in Paris. Those men drink hard and love fighting outside. The FL love the Louvre museum, especially the Egyptian floors.

Thank you everyday to all our Vets & Law Enforcement.!!!

 

[whereamIagain]

I wonder about you guys sometime. Correction. I wonder about you guys period.

 

[Clubfoot1]

Bagel right after my divorce, I am at some hotel, don't even remember which one. I meet a soldier who was discharged? He tells me a very important fact. When he gets rotated out of Germany. I ask, I am in my 40's, do you think the army will take me? He says, "Do you think you can carry me for on your back for a couple miles?" I was like omg no way man. There's your answer toby. Then I tell him I haven't slept with any other women in 20 years, just my wife soon to be ex. He goes on, he spent some time in Thailand before heading into the states. He said you gotta look at their necks, the woman that approached you. If they have a scar on the throat. Means they were men and had Adams apple removed. I was like OMG!!! He was my first soldier I have ever met. Have partied with some units from the French foreign legion in Paris. Those men drink hard and love fighting outside. The FL love the Louvre museum, especially the Egyptian floors.

Thank you everyday to all our Vets & Law Enforcement.!!!

Lol Had their adams apple removed Or maybe just maybe it was a thyroid issue and had to have that dealt with.

 

[tobyloveswar]

Lol Had their adams apple removed Or maybe just maybe it was a thyroid issue and had to have that dealt with.

hahah yeah, I know Mom had a thyroid operation done, which left her a scar. She was always shy about it. LOL since I wasn't going to thailand well it wasn't much of a concern haha. But dude i felt like a newborn. After 20 years no sense of woman nothing. Yet I was bathed in what many women crave.
The patience of permance... The Journey.

 

[tobyloveswar]

Ive just watched like 4 days ago a video of when one of the cargo trains in LA got derailed on purpose, and all the cargo containers got emptied and there were only boxes of amazon sht, man LA is fked up!!

Dude, no doubt, Police there are like sigh this is just Monday.

 

[tobyloveswar]

As I slowly walked to the red head, sitting there slumped over. He is completely enveloped in a grey mist. He is sitting right in the middle of the mist. I know this dreaded mark from Hell. The mist is to let others know that the human is lost and cannot be saved. I sit across from him and look at the ocean we were in. It's so beautiful, so blue. Always wanted to swim in the Mediterranean Sea, and here I am. Poor guy, his name Bennet. He raises his head to look at me, and already the cataracts of the forgotten are half way across his eyes. Soon, in two months, he will be blind. Bennet's right hand is bandaged, and you can see the blood leaking through the dressing. Tears roll slowly down his tattooed cheeks.

The dam seagulls are screaming so damn loud. I see Karl's men covering their ears and wilding looking at the cloud of birds. Bennet speaks quietly and lowers his head, staring at a wooden creaking floor. Says a kid popped out of the water along side of the boat, as he tied knots and bit him on the hand, days ago. I asked where is the kid? He stayed quiet for a long time, and the uttered kid slipped back into the ocean right after bitting him. I asked, did the child have no eyes? Benett snapped his head up and looked at me terrified and almost relived. He grabbed my hands and said so low that I couldn't hear him at first. What must I do, how do I finish this? He kept repeating that. I turned, looked at Karl, and made a cellphone sign with my hand. He brought me a burner, and I called my betters in Rome.

--to be continued

Thank you Club for the like and for reading it? and to those that have. It meant for fun entertainment. Usual disclaimers, no real names, etc blah blah.
Write this stuff mostly for those folks at 3 am on YouTube joining 275 million past viewers. Gazing for 45 minutes on how to melt gold in the kitchen

 

[Clubfoot1]

Thank you Club for the like and for reading it? and to those that have. It meant for fun entertainment. Usual disclaimers, no real names, etc blah blah.
Write this stuff mostly for those folks at 3 am on YouTube joining 275 million past viewers. Gazing for 45 minutes on how to melt gold in your kitchen

Seems like a Homer Simpson scheme

 

[Clubfoot1]

Seems like a Homer Simpson scheme

I find your insight into the world interesting and having a place to be able to express ones thoughts to be either takin seriously or for entertainment appreciated. I for one am always looking at things from a humour perspective yet also inflecting a passive aggressive approach to things I may not agree with in this weird world we live in. My world is a room with 3 file cabinets filled with client files then to other cabinets filled with forms and marketing materials so I tend to want to blow the shit outta people online to get away from the mounds of paperwork the financial industry throws my way

 

[tobyloveswar]

I find your insight into the world interesting and having a place to be able to express ones thoughts to be either takin seriously or for entertainment appreciated. I for one am always looking at things from a humour perspective yet also inflecting a passive aggressive approach to things I may not agree with in this weird world we live in. My world is a room with 3 file cabinets filled with client files then to other cabinets filled with forms and marketing materials so I tend to want to blow the shit outta people online to get away from the mounds of paperwork the financial industry throws my way

Hmm A client called me once and said he had a problem and was going a little nuts. First thing I do when I walk into his office. He hands me a fat check. I was like wow what the hell bro, who's after ya? I laughed, he didn't laugh. I could see why. His office had a bunch of good luck charms all around the walls. He's not a Catholic. He says he bought all the lucky charms because his filing cabinet is "haunted". I know most would laugh at him, right? But I once saw three dead people inside a sewing thimble at an antique store. So I ask why do you think the small filing cabinet is haunted? He says every time he opens the fourth drawer, he sees his own face that looks back at him. Then it gets wobbly, and that's when he slams the drawer shut.

I glance around the wall and walk over and take two items down. I ask him, "You got this stuff over in Ashbury, right?" He's surprised, says yeah, how did you know? I reply, was it a gorgeous girl that sold it to you and touched your arm when paid?. And she told you to come again and smile at you. That perfect smile seemed like an eternity, huh? He turned pale and asked, "Have you been following me?" I chuckled, no pal, those two "good luck charms" that I just threw into your wastebasket. Those are Santanic Trackers no reason to explain it to him. Make sure you throw them away today when I leave. I add that your hands are the ones that received, and touched, a demon, and must be the hands that cast them away. I reach into my jacket and hand him a rosary from the Vatican. I have 10000's of them. Tell him to keep on his person, pockets, whatever for a few months until you can smile when you pass a church.
Now I say show me your Ghost in the filing cabinet.

He's scared and points at the fourth drawer down. I squat down and open the fourth drawer. I stay looking at the ghost for a bit and smile. I reach into the drawer and grab it, the client wigs out, literally picks me up and we both fall backwards. I land on his office sofa. He has stumbled onto the floor. I smile, and say come over, sit on the sofa. He does. I show him his Ghost. It's a plastic clear see through transsciprt cover. Every time you opened the drawer, you saw your reflection. As you freaked, you moved the cabinet, and the flimsy plastic cover moved and made your reflection look wobbly. He grabbed the plastic cover, stared at it, shook it gently, and laughed quite a bit. So did I hahah. Before I left, I gave him the fat check back and told him to donate some bucks to St Jude.org.

Clubfoot your filing cabinet post brought this memory ^^ back hahaha

 

[Clubfoot1]

Hmm A client called me once and said he had a problem and was going a little nuts. First thing I do when I walk into his office. He hands me a fat check. I was like wow what the hell bro, who's after ya? I laughed, he didn't laugh. I could see why. His office had a bunch of good luck charms all around the walls. He's not a Catholic. He says he bought all the lucky charms because his filing cabinet is "haunted". I know most would laugh at him, right? But I once saw three dead people inside a sewing thimble at an antique store. So I ask why do you think the small filing cabinet is haunted? He says every time he opens the fourth drawer, he sees his own face that looks back at him. Then it gets wobbly, and that's when he slams the drawer shut.

I glance around the wall and walk over and take two items down. I ask him, "You got this stuff over in Ashbury, right?" He's surprised, says yeah, how did you know? I reply, was it a gorgeous girl that sold it to you and touched your arm when paid?. And she told you to come again and smile at you. That perfect smile seemed like an eternity, huh? He turned pale and asked, "Have you been following me?" I chuckled, no pal, those two "good luck charms" that I just threw into your wastebasket. Those are Santanic Trackers no reason to explain it to him. Make sure you throw them away today when I leave. I add that your hands are the ones that received, and touched, a demon, and must be the hands that cast them away. I reach into my jacket and hand him a rosary from the Vatican. I have 10000's of them. Tell him to keep on his person, pockets, whatever for a few months until you can smile when you pass a church.
Now I say show me your Ghost in the filing cabinet.

He's scared and points at the fourth drawer down. I squat down and open the fourth drawer. I stay looking at the ghost for a bit and smile. I reach into the drawer and grab it, the client wigs out, literally picks me up and we both fall backwards. I land on his office sofa. He has stumbled onto the floor. I smile, and say come over, sit on the sofa. He does. I show him his Ghost. It's a plastic clear see through transsciprt cover. Every time you opened the drawer, you saw your reflection. As you freaked, you moved the cabinet, and the flimsy plastic cover moved and made your reflection look wobbly. He grabbed the plastic cover, stared at it, shook it gently, and laughed quite a bit. So did I hahah. Before I left, I gave him the fat check back and told him to donate some bucks to St Jude.org.

Clubfoot your filing cabinet post brought this memory ^^ back hahaha

Well that makes me chuckle. Of course I have files from clients who have passed away as that is part of my job but I'm the one who brings the check in the time of need. I haven't been haunted yet from a former client from beyond.
Cheers sir

 

[Isaiah53i5]

I was just teasing lol

My feelings are hurt now.. What should I do? LOL.. I can take a little teasing.

 

[Isaiah53i5]

and all the cargo containers got emptied

I thought, thats so nice of those folks to help unload all those stranded container cars. They are some really great people.